Full list of jokes
A blond at a party was telling her friend thatshe was off men for life. "They lie, they cheatand they're just no good. From now on when I wantsex, I'm going to use my vibrator""So, what when the batteries run out?" asked her friend"I'll just fake an orgasm like always."Link to joke: A blond at a party was...
A blond walks into a bar. Ouch!Link to joke: A blond walks into a bar....
A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette saidthat her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Headand Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively,"How do you give shoulders?"Link to joke: A blonde and a brunette were...
A blonde began a job as an Junior school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during break she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was alright.The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, Sandy said, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked "Why are you standing here all alone? Why don't you go and join those boys playing football over there?" "Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the bloody goalie."Sent by GeraldLink to joke: A blonde began a job as...
A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again. The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.Link to joke: A blonde bought two horses, and...
A blonde calls the fire department cause her house was on fire. They ask her how to get there and she says "Duh, big red truck?!."Link to joke: A blonde calls the fire department...
A blonde came running home to her mother, sobbing and hysterical."What's wrong?" her mum, (another blonde) asked."My boyfriend's just dropped me!" wailed the blonde.Her mother nodded wisely and started to tell her all about the birds and the bees."No mum," the blonde interrupted. "You don't understand - I can fuck and suck with the best of them, but he says I can't cook!"Link to joke: A blonde came running home to...
A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life.While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to get his sheep across the road. She stopped her car and waved the farmer across, thinking this would be her first good deed.After the sheep had all crossed, the blonde said to the farmer, "your sheep are so cute. If I guess how many there are, could I have one."The farmer thought it impossible and told the blonde it was okay."637", said the blonde.The farmer was amazed that the blonde had guessed the exact number, but lived up to his bargain."I'll take that feisty one over there", said the blonde.Then the farmer said to the blonde, "Okay, now if I guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?Link to joke: A blonde decided that she was...
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had nolessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and thenhorse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady andrhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from thesaddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to geta firm grip.She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides downthe side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seeminglyimpervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, sheleaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is nowat the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is batteredagainst the ground again and again. She is mere moments away fromunconsciousness when........ ........the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.Link to joke: A blonde decides to try horseback...
A blonde goes for a job interview in an office.The interviewer decides to start with the basics.'So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?' The blonde counts carefully on her fingers forabout 30 seconds before replying, 'Ehhhh .. 22!' The interviewer tries another straightforward oneto break the ice. 'And can you tell us your height, please?' The young lady stands up and produces a measuringtape from her handbag. She then traps one endunder her foot and extends the tape to the top ofher head. She checks the measurement and announces,'Five foot two!' This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes forthe real basics. 'And uhh, just to confirm for ourrecords, your name please?' The blonde bobs her head from side to side for abouttwenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself,before replying, 'Mandy!' The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, sohe asks, 'Just out of curiosity, Miss. We can understandyour counting on your fingers to work out your age, andthe measuring tape for your height is obvious, but whatwere you doing when we asked you your name?' 'Ohh that!', replies the blonde, 'That's just me runningthrough 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you....''Link to joke: A blonde goes for a job...