Full list of jokes
A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it".Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing.She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with Wal-Mart; now you can follow me over to K-Mart."Link to joke: A blonde got lost in her...
A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients arecomplaining that they can never reach me." Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a phone in your car?" Blonde: "That was a little too expensive, so I didthe next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car." Psychiatrist: "Uh ... How's that working?" Blonde: "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet." Psychiatrist: "And why do you think that is?" Blonde: "I figure it's because when I'm drivingaround, my zip code keeps changing."Link to joke: A blonde is speaking to her...
A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try horseback riding one day. So Vikki mounts the horse, taps its butt, and the horse starts to take off at a reasonable speed. She is having fun, and decides she wants to go a little faster, so she kicks the horses butt, and the horse goes just a little faster. All of a sudden Vikki begins to lose her grip on the reigns of the horse and she begins to fall off, she starts screaming but the horse seemingly unoticing its rider continues... Now Vikki is grabbing on the the horses mane when she beigns to feel tired and her grip starts to fail. The blond lets go of the horses mane, only to get her foot caught in the saddle. So now she is riding along, the horse unnoticing and Vikki's head is beating against the ground over, and over, and over. She almost loses conscience when the Wal-Mart manager runs out and turns off the horse.Sent by MargeLink to joke: A blonde named Vikki decides she...
A blonde walked into a doctor's office with a hole in her hand. Thedoctor told her that he had to report all gunshot wounds, and this wasan obvious gunshot wound, so would she please explain how it happened?The blonde said, "Well, to be honest with you, I was trying to commitsuicide, so first I stuck the gun in my mouth, but thought, wait aminute, I just had all that bridge work done, and I don't want to ruinit. So, I pointed the gun between my eyes, and then thought, wait aminute, I just got a nose job not too long ago, and I don't want toruin it! Then I pointed the gun at my heart, and thought, wait aminute, I just had these boobs done, and I don't want to ruin them! Sothen I stuck the gun in my ear, and thought, wait a minute, this isgoing to be loud!"Link to joke: A blonde walked into a doctor's...
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job.The officer wants to ask her a few questions.... Officer: What's 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm... 4! Officer: What's the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm... 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow. The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"Link to joke: A blonde walks into the police...
A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her "go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?" The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her. She gets all indignant and claims, "I'm NOT a dumb blonde. In fact, I can name ALL the state capitals!" The guy doesn't believe her, so she dares him to test her. He says "Okay, what's the Capital of Montana?" The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, "That's easy! It's M!"Link to joke: A blonde was complaining to her...
A blonde was plugging dollar after dollar into thecoke machine at a large Vegas casino. She keptpunching the buttons only to have happen what you'dexpect. Cans of soda popped out, one after the other,and change too! After a while, she ran out of dollar bills so wentand got more. Back at it she went, blocking the wayto the other vending machines with the mounting pileof soda. All kinds. It didn't seem to matter to theyoung lady. People were starting to gather, seeing this beautifulwoman enthusiastically plugging money in like it wasfun. The people were gathering more though waiting theirturn at the machines. After watching a while, someone asked from the rear ofthe group, 'Hey, how much soda does one blonde need?' 'Hey back off, buddy,' she retorts, 'can't you see I'mwinning here?'Link to joke: A blonde was plugging dollar after...
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain."I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman."Sorry we don't sell to blondes," he replied.She hurried home, dyed her hair, came back again and told thesalesman, "I would like to buy this TV.""Sorry we don't sell to blondes," he replied."Darn, he recognized me," she thought.She went for a complete disguise this time. A new haircut and newcolor, a new outfit, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman."Sorry we don't sell to blondes," he replied.Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?""Because that's a microwave," he replied.Sent by AceLink to joke: A blonde went to the appliance...
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.The doctor asked her what had happened to herears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirtand the phone rang - but instead of picking upthe phone I accidentally picked up the ironand stuck it to my ear.""Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief."But. what happened to your other ear?""The son of a bitch called back."Link to joke: A blonde with two red ears...
A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked:"I don't want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms."Link to joke: A blonde woman competed with a...